How it all came together...(our story, part three)

The evening at the concert was wonderful.  I found myself being reminded of all the reasons I had wished we had worked out the first time.  He loved Jesus and he loved the Gospel--and more than his words, his character and actions said so.  But like I said, I was sticking to my guns!  I quickly hushed those thoughts, reasoning that the issues we had before would be the same, or worse, if we tried a relationship again.  Little did I know, he was hushing similar thoughts.
Before the evening was over, I half-heartedly mentioned the possibility of getting coffee sometime.  -cough-

A series of fortunate events...

• Craig followed through with an invitation to coffee a little over a week later.  While I respected him highly, I wasn't looking for a relationship with him, so it was nice to just relax and enjoy his fellowship.  Since he lived an hour away, we were reluctant to just end the visit after coffee, so we decided to try to find a taco stand we had heard about.  We had been told that it was exactly like the ones we would go to in Mexico--late night taco runs were a tradition with the team. :)  It was another half an hour away, so it gave good opportunity for more fellowship and conversation.

• Unfortunately, but fortunately, the taco stand was closed, even though their posted hours showed that they should have been open.  We made note of the hours and decided to get together and try again sometime.
• A couple weeks later, we decided to try it; note, during their posted hours!  But it was mysteriously closed again.  So, since I was craving pasta, he took me to the best place for pasta in our area--which is a pricier and better version of The Olive Garden.  He joked later about the bill, and about spending that much on a girl he wasn't even dating. :)
• A weekish later, my family invited him for a random pizza night.  The next day, I got a text from him simply stating that we needed "to talk".  I freaked out a little.  I was for sure he would say that we were being ridiculous and couldn't hang out anymore; I nervously agreed to meet at a Steak n Shake "to talk".  He seemed nervous, and we chit-chatted a bit, until it was killing me and I finally asked him what he wanted to talk about (haha, heh...I don't play games!).
  He wanted to know if the theological issues we had before were either gone, or if we could work through them.  -gasp- I remember him asking sincerely, almost with pleading eyes.  I still melt thinking about it.  Being a woman, of course, I had already prayed/wrestled with that question; to find that most of the issues were gone, and what may be left was definitely okay.  I was still surprised that he was even interested!

We were official.  Our families were excited for us, but if it wasn't for the peace they knew we had, they would have been unsure about a Round 2.

We went on our first official date to the taco stand...which was open!  I was nervous to ask for a picture so soon, but I had this persistant feeling that I would regret not having one.  He sweetly obliged. 

(Note:  In the first courtship and up to this point, we were hands-off.  When he put his arm around me for that picture, I DIED)

 

We think it was God's providence that kept the taco stand closed, since trying for it multiple times allowed reasons for us to hang out more and enjoy amazing fellowship on the drive there.  Ironically, we didn't find it open until we were official. 

Of course, we had to give our friends and family heart attacks after that...

Later that evening, he brought me home and we sat at my parents' kitchen table talking over coffee.  It was late and my family--except for one brother playing video games--had gone to bed. 

I told him he was in danger of making me fall in love with him (shameless plug: totally stole that line from Jane Austen).  He told me he felt the same way.  WE KNEW.  After talking it through, and sharing our first kiss on our first date, we decided we wanted to marry and he would talk to my dad the next day.

8 days after becoming an official dating couple, we were engaged.

We hadn't changed our Facebook relationship statuses from single at all--so we freaked alot of people out going straight from "single" to "engaged".  But that was the fun part. :)

He "officially" proposed 11 days later, before the annual cookout with our Mexico mission team.

Our initial plan was to marry in April 2011, but we moved it January 1, 2011...

a little over 5 months since we became official.

We're so thankful, Abba Father, because we "know that you can do all things,

and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted."

Job 42:2

...the end [but not the end]. :)

Our Story (part two)

As I shared in Part One, Craig and I had courted in 2009--I was 20, he was 19. 
We met on my first mission trip to Mexico--he had been a few times before, once for 3 months at a time.  A dear family friend was the team leader, and when inviting me to join the team, he had hoped Craig and I would hit-it-off (his wife was also co-matchmaker).
While in Mexico, Craig preached at one of the churches we visited; I remember having a "feeling/voice" tell me that this was the man I was going to marry.  Thinking I was just insane, I brushed it off.  After we were back in the U.S., while I gave a presentation of the trip to our supporting church and while Craig was also on stage with the rest of our team, Sarah at skimming proverbs (Craig's sis-in-law) sent him a text saying, "how are you NOT supposed to marry her?". :)

A couple months later, he finally contacted me and asked my Dad to officially court me.  Though it was the best relationship ever, and though he met all my hopes and expectations I had for husband-material (I thought he was Mr. Darcy incarnate), we found that we had differing theologies and thought it best to end the courtship.  But in all honesty, I wasn't sure where I stood theologically at that point in my life, and I was more scared than anything.  But God knew His own timing. :)

Since I began another relationship a few months later, and Craig soon moved an hour away, and other than rarely running into each other at Church functions, Craig and I didn't keep in contact.

Skip ahead 2 years...

In June of 2010, I was far from thinking about relationships and marriage.  Still recovering from the aforementioned relationship fail, I was getting ready to leave for a mission trip to Kenya.  This was BIG to me, since foreign mission work was dear to my heart, and God had used trips like this as milestones of spiritual growth for me before.  My prayer was that I would bury my relationship/idolotry weariness in Kenya, come home refreshed and renewed-in-love with my Abba again.  Praise God, He answered that prayer.  When holding former street girls like Martha, little Sarah and Esther (above LtoR), ALOT of things melt in the goodness of God.

After I was home from the trip, I got a random text from Craig asking if I would like to join him for a Mark Schultz concert on June 17th.  Later, he told me he had the tickets, but the friends he'd previously asked declined.  He had gone through his phone contacts to see who to ask next when he saw my name and thought it would be nice to catch up and hear of Kenya (since he is a lover of foreign missions himself).  He was surprised when I accepted!  I simply thought it would be nice to catch up as well, and didn't expect anything of it.  In fact, I told myself over-and-over again that I would be stupid to fall for this guy and commanded myself to not even go there.  I planned to stick to my guns.

Heh heh...oops! :)

...to be continued, again, verra verra soon. :)

Our Story (part one)

Today (June 17) is a really, really special day.  It marks the anniversary of what started the wonderful, hilarious, crazy love story that brought my husband and dearest friend to me.  Our story wasn't planned, wasn't expected, wasn't perfect...but I really love it the way it is.  It fits us perfectly, and it's a testimony of the grace of the living God, and how He knows us better than we know ourselves.

But I have to give you a little Jen history first, 1) because history is important in every story and 2) since our Creator is such a good Author in everything He does, there are details that make the rest of the story so much better. :)

Every girl has a plan...
I think nearly every single girl who looks forward to falling in love usually has a mental picture of how they would like it to happen, right?  Maybe they pre-plan or picture little details like: he has to ask her Dad's permission to pursue/marry her. He has to have a job and a plan!  He has to be tall, he has to be older than her, he has to love Christ, and so on.

Like most, I had a plan with expectations. 
I had read the courtship books, set my standards high, knew my "list" of deal-makers and deal-breakers;
I had the purity ring, I had the godly Dad with a .22...
I mean, didn't that make me Swiss-Army-Super-Fetching-wife potential? 
I thought all that was CODE for the perfect, instant, courtship, engagement and marriage package.

On top of all that, I truly desired to fill my season of singleness with my God--knowing Him, loving Him, serving Him, and ministry/mission work wherever I could.  In the back of my mind, I figured "the one" would come when I was in my spiritual prime--when my relationship with God and my life were "full".

God always has a better one.
Singleness is such a bittersweet season.  Sweet because during that time, I fell deeply in love with my Abba; it tested my love and trust in Him in amazing ways.  There's truly a richness to a season, or a lifetime, of singleness wholly devoted to Christ.  Of course any life wholly devoted to Christ is beyond rich, but singleness just has a different richness. :)

It's crossed my mind to write a book about "what the courtship books didn't tell me."  Because nothing ever happened like I had once hoped or expected...

My first courtship was very near engagement, but it ended in heartbreak and bitter feelings.  It was a scenario that "should have been" perfect.  The guy grew up in a family like mine, with similar upbringings and similar dreams.  Soon though, something simply "wasn't right" and I began to realize that the situation wasn't as perfect as I had thought.  My Jane Austen expectations were dashed.

2 years later, my second courtship was with Craig.  It lasted a month, and we both agreed that it was the best relationship both had ever been in; full of mutual respect and Christ-centered intentions.  But hopes were deferred again when we realized we had differing theologies.  We ended it on good terms, but soon lost contact.

A few months following, my third relationship attempt had so many reasons why it needed to end; we weren't on the same page about many things, standards being one of them.  But differing theology was what made the final decision.  That relationship ended bitterly, 5 months before Craig came back into the picture.

By now, I felt spiritually numb--in NO way ready for a godly relationship, according to my own standards.  My spiritual unhealthiness was partly due to the last relationship, and a general idleness and idolotry I'd brought upon myself.
I distinctly remember being curled up in a ball on my closet floor sobbing, more heartbroken about my heart being invested in vain yet again, and worn out from relationship attempts altogether.  I never dated casually--all of it was full-heart-investments with prayer and careful consideration.  So each one seemed to completely crush any hopes.  I pleaded with God to either let the next man be my husband, or close all opportunities/desires completely.

Little did I know that in a few short months I would be engaged to a wonderful, godly man, and married to him in less than a year.  I'm so very thankful that my Abba Father has higher ways, and higher thoughts, than I...
(to be continued)

The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps.

Proverbs 16:9