Our Story (part two)

As I shared in Part One, Craig and I had courted in 2009--I was 20, he was 19. 
We met on my first mission trip to Mexico--he had been a few times before, once for 3 months at a time.  A dear family friend was the team leader, and when inviting me to join the team, he had hoped Craig and I would hit-it-off (his wife was also co-matchmaker).
While in Mexico, Craig preached at one of the churches we visited; I remember having a "feeling/voice" tell me that this was the man I was going to marry.  Thinking I was just insane, I brushed it off.  After we were back in the U.S., while I gave a presentation of the trip to our supporting church and while Craig was also on stage with the rest of our team, Sarah at skimming proverbs (Craig's sis-in-law) sent him a text saying, "how are you NOT supposed to marry her?". :)

A couple months later, he finally contacted me and asked my Dad to officially court me.  Though it was the best relationship ever, and though he met all my hopes and expectations I had for husband-material (I thought he was Mr. Darcy incarnate), we found that we had differing theologies and thought it best to end the courtship.  But in all honesty, I wasn't sure where I stood theologically at that point in my life, and I was more scared than anything.  But God knew His own timing. :)

Since I began another relationship a few months later, and Craig soon moved an hour away, and other than rarely running into each other at Church functions, Craig and I didn't keep in contact.

Skip ahead 2 years...

In June of 2010, I was far from thinking about relationships and marriage.  Still recovering from the aforementioned relationship fail, I was getting ready to leave for a mission trip to Kenya.  This was BIG to me, since foreign mission work was dear to my heart, and God had used trips like this as milestones of spiritual growth for me before.  My prayer was that I would bury my relationship/idolotry weariness in Kenya, come home refreshed and renewed-in-love with my Abba again.  Praise God, He answered that prayer.  When holding former street girls like Martha, little Sarah and Esther (above LtoR), ALOT of things melt in the goodness of God.

After I was home from the trip, I got a random text from Craig asking if I would like to join him for a Mark Schultz concert on June 17th.  Later, he told me he had the tickets, but the friends he'd previously asked declined.  He had gone through his phone contacts to see who to ask next when he saw my name and thought it would be nice to catch up and hear of Kenya (since he is a lover of foreign missions himself).  He was surprised when I accepted!  I simply thought it would be nice to catch up as well, and didn't expect anything of it.  In fact, I told myself over-and-over again that I would be stupid to fall for this guy and commanded myself to not even go there.  I planned to stick to my guns.

Heh heh...oops! :)

...to be continued, again, verra verra soon. :)

Wordlessless Wednesday

Missy - PJ - Kaitlyn

S.W.A.T. girls on the mission field.

Paint and a girl's intuition.

Watch out This Old House.

I heart Coffee Drips Art (that rhymed)

Guess what came in the mail?
[oh my...see the fake blonde growing out. See? See?!  Now I have no excuse for my shenanigans]

Beka at hold on, love... was taking requests before I left for Africa, and I couldn't pass it up.  I chose earth colors, and a Scripture that is very dear to me:

John 13:35

"By this all people will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another."

And she painted them in the beautiful language of Kiswahili.

I'm truly loving it on my wall.

In ten years...

I would really love to share about Kenya now, but I have to wait until I have pictures too--because they're really going to say more than any blog words I would clack. :)  Though I'm happy to be home, I miss it very much.  When I was with the Challenge Farm students, my heart thought it was home and falling in love at the same time.  God is still working on my heart, and I can't wait to share the real-realness things that have come to the surface since being there.

In the meantime, I have been blessed with some blog awards from some bloggers that I'm starting to consider more than blog friends.  You know...we're at the phase where you're pretty sure they're not a psycho-maniac and without fearing for your life you really maybe want to visit them one day. :)

Who would have thought fellowship and kindredness could be found in blog form?  It's a crazy thing really.  And one of the blogs I get both from is by Miss Kaylene at Face Value--who awarded me with "You're going places, Baby".  The rules to this award are:  Share where you see yourself in ten years and then award this to ten other bloggers.

In my limited humanness, only God knows where I will actually be in ten years.  No matter what, I pray to be doing what He's led me to.  BUT since we're talking about what I would LIKE to see...Lord willing...

I hope to be a Registered Nurse and Certified Midwife, and serve people wherever I will be.  I would love to be doing this on a foreign mission field, but I know the mission field is anywhere.  That could be here, in a hospital, or in a refuge home for teenage girls, etc.  Whether here or on foreign soil, I would love to be married too, and have a family (though I don't see myself working a job here if I have children).  By then I will be 32, which is amazing to think about.  Ten years isn't very far away. :)

So this I award to ten bloggers that I know are going places, especially places they have been led to by God...

Miriam at mim's blog

Beka at hold on, love...

Chloe at tryin' to throw my arms around the world

Melinda at Abounding in Hope

Mary at Here am I, Lord.

Sarah at saramblings

Abbie at Abbie Writes.

Alicia at If a Tree Were to Fall

Ash at once upon a dreamer...

and my 10th blogger is actually a prayer request for a dear lady I've been incredibly blessed to follow--Stephanie at Still Waters.  Though she may be absent from blogging, the blog award isn't important.  But I do know she's going places; places that our amazing God is going to lead her to.  Please pray for her and her family on their journey.

--Jen

Wordless [oh, never] Wednesday

Kama mkipendana hivyo, watu wote watafahamu ya kuwa ninyi ni wanafunzi wangu.

~Yohana (John) 13:35

Ohmygoodness: JenCode for backed-up-blog. We're gonna need Blogger Drain-O after this.

Tuesday 1. Bible study with my prettymuchamazing college group--on the book of Malachi & empty religion (wonderful study, btw!).  This is the place where Jen dominates at Apples to Apples...a fantastic rare thing, indeed. :)

2. Stay the night with these two wonderful ladies: Ashley & Andrea...

My Bulgarian placebo sisters.  We were triplets in the spiritual womb and no one knew it. :)

Wednesday
3.  Andrea, Ashley & Jen motor to a Children's Home where we will help with any indoor/outdoor work they need accomplished.  That evening, we will hang out with the kids/teens there--have a devotional, worship and games.  Please pray for us--this is kind of our "spring break mission trip", and we hope to be a blessing to the kids there.  It's not about us...it's about our Savior and our "faith expressing itself through His love" (Gal. 5:6).

Thursday

4.  Go shopping for similar outfit to this.  Only without the cute lab coat.  Rebekah (my cousin and fellow future nursing student) and I went shopping for scrubs yesterday.  She made me laugh because our scrubs for class have to be white.  Yes, plain white.  No cute designer scrub-tops here (did you know they actually have name brand scrubs?!  Like Grey's Anatomy scrubs?  No joke).

And Rebekah figured we looked more like we're from the psych ward than cute nurses.  Ha, you never know. :)

Friday

5.  Pack up the cool cats on my sidebar: SWAT--and head to Nashville, TN for the weekend.  We are blessed to be able to go to Acquire the Fire for the second time, and we're looking forward to what God has for us.  It's like mini-Passion for high school/pre-college students.  Again, pray for us--I'm praying sincerely that the students are incredibly and imperishably (which means is lasts forever!) by Who their God is. :)

Saturday & Sunday

6. Return from Nashville and crash.

Monday

7. Nursing classes commence.

See what I mean by ohmygoodness?  I will be backed-up on posts, and unable to vent them until next week when I can sit down and breathe once again. :)  Blogging friends, prepare for battle.  You'll need your infectous blogging-bug sneezes and some Blogger Drain-O.

Healing

Continued...

From my last post, you now know how hurt and skeptical I was going into Passion--almost so much that I was afraid my heart would be hardened and closed to what God could possibly have for me.  But how did I know it was God and not the devices of man?

At Passion 2010, I found myself alongside 22,000 college students.  Do you picture that number?  Google a crowd of that many people, or search for a picture of Passion 2010.  That's a masses of people (they couldn't even fit us all in one arena--they had two!)  Our group talked about how surely Atlanta didn't know what hit them, because literally thousands of college students were walking down it's streets, all going the same direction.

Passion encouraged  us to be a 268 Generation, based on Isaiah 26:8...
"Yes Lord, walking in the way of Your laws, we wait for You;
Your name and renown are the desire of our hearts."

When that Scripture was read, the mass of people roared with agreement--the name and renown of the God we serve was the desire of our hearts.  I was standing in the midst of people who desired to know and serve God.  Yet even all the way down to my small group of seven, there were diverse doctrines and beliefs.  In 22,000 people there was bound to be differences....we're human.

One of my favorite parts of Passion was called "Do Something Now"--they presented dozens of needs from dozens of places around the world.  Sponsoring children with AIDS in Mozambique, shipping Bibles to the unreached in Asia, funding cleft palette surgeries for children in Afghanistan, translating the Bible in languages it wasn't in yet, funding underground seminary in the Middle East, help with an education center for the Dalit people (outcasts) of India, Clean water in Guatemala, building border outposts to catch sex traffickers in Nepal, volunteer time to package meals to ship around the world, and even sponsoring children from various places.
Our gifts could be as little as we had, $25, $100?  Whatever the Lord led us to give, we gave with our whole heart.  They also asked every student to bring was a towel and a package of socks for the homeless shelters of Atlanta.
Louie Giglio shared about Christians, and how when we come together, we are a force for good--for God's glory.  How could we all flock to Atlanta as God's people, and not do something for someone else in Jesus' name?  Can you imagine the story--that 22,000 Christians came and brought towels and socks with them--for the forgotten of Atlanta?  As individuals, there's only so much we can do, but together, we can accomplish so much.  You want to know what happened with the opportunities around the world listed above?  Check THIS out, then praise God! :)

Where I expected to be hurt yet again by doctrinal diversity, I experiened healing.  Where I was afraid to hear doctrine, I heard the Word of God.  And where I was afraid I couldn't fellowship with people because I couldn't embrace their theology...I took the hand of my Calvinist, Arminian, (insert theology here) brothers and sisters, and together we saw the need of the hurting around the world and could do something together in Jesus' name.
Don't get me wrong--I read the Word and pray to be taught truth through His Word.  But now I have skepticism and fear peace, because where there are humans, there will be diversity.  Where there are human minds, there will be human points of view.  And if there wasn't going to be, the Apostles wouldn't have faced it, nor taught us what to do when we do.  Check out the entire letter to the Galatian church. :)  Check out Romans 14.  1 Corinthians 3...and others.

I believe there is One Way.  One Truth.  One Life.  And He is the only One way to God.  If your faith is in Him--if you are living under His grace because of His Cross, desire His name and renown, if you want to love Him with all your heart--you are my brother or sister in Christ.  The greatest commandment ever given--the one that fullfills the law--is to love.  Jesus said it would be by our love (not embracing the same theology) that the world will know we are His (John 13:34-35).

I'm still learning. :)

Louie Giglio asked people to stand for different blessings--spiritual awakening, acceptence of Christ in their lives for the first time, and other things.  He asked anyone to stand if they had received healing of any kind during Passion.
With tears of peace (finally), I stood. :)

On Captivity...and Hope

A few things really blessed me today, my friend...

I sat down to blog, but nothing was coming. I had thoughts about flipping the calendar yet again, and Thanksgiving afterthoughts--but writer's block was keeping them secure, wherever they were. So...I closed out Blogger yet again, letting another day go without posting. ;)

But then I actually flipped my calendar.
My calendar is from The Challenge Farm, a mission/refuge-home in Kenya, Africa. They offer a Christian home, education, food and care to children as an alternative to living on the streets. Each month has pictures of the children, the staff alongside them, and Swahili words/phrases.
It tugs at your heart, let me tell you.
Lord willing, I may join a small team to minister at Challenge in the summer of 2010. I am extremely humbled at even the thought! I will keep you posted on this. ;)

THEN...I logged into Twitter, and learned that December 1st is World Aids Day. So I Googled it. There are HIV/AIDS statistics all over the web today, and all of them are heartbreaking. Here are just a couple of my findings...
--Africa has (estimated) 14 million children orphaned by HIV/AIDS.
--A regional estimate for 2008 said that world-wide there was 33.4 million adults & children living with HIV/AIDS...22.4 million were in sub-saharan Africa.

Pastor's message on Sunday was about hope. He shared that alot times we put pressure on hope, and not Whom we hope in. He used a clip from the movie The Tale of Despereaux, and this quote stuck with me...

"The story said [the princess] was a prisoner. But that wasn't totally true because she had hope, and whenever you have hope, you're never really anybody's prisoner."

There are so many kinds of captivity. The Israelites, Apostles and early Christians knew what it was like to be literally taken captive. The people Jesus had healed tasted the captivity of blindness, lameness, disease, sickness, death etc. People taste captivity of circumstances. Captivity of perspective (seeing things a certain way). Captivity of SIN.

Though time has changed significantly, humankind still suffers these things. They are all a kind of death, which is the wage of sin. In every circumstance, there are very human reasons to despair.

Why don't we despair? Why do we hope?

Because when Christ is in you, and when He is your hope (Col 1:27), you are no one's prisoner. Do you hear that? Do you grasp it? It doesn't mean our circumstances change...the princess was still "captive". But she wasn't a captive. Her life, hope, heart, future, weren't based on her captivity any longer. They were based on something greater than the bars and chains.

Is your life, your hope, your heart, your future...are they based on Christ alone?

Not what He can do for you. Are they in HIM and what He's already done?

I remember my chains...I'm fully aware of all of them.

Yet I insist on remembering something else, and because of it I'm filled with hope:

Because of the great love of my Savior,

I am not captivated.

His compassion never fails, and His mercy is new every morning; great is His faithfulness.

I remind myself that my life, my hope, my heart and my future is based on the Risen Christ, and I will wait and hope in Him.

~Lamenations 3:19-24 (in my own words)

"Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death."

~Romans 8:1

I've been Sugar Doll-ed!

Sweet Mrs. Chloe at trying to throw my arms around the world... gave me my first ever blogger award...isn't she sweet?? I'm so excited! I never thought I would be given one of these because I don't have a great blog following, I don't post very often, and I don't blog-hop as much as I would like. It's neat how on the world (didja catch that, the WHOLE WIDE WORLD) wide web, you can meet kindred spirits. You would love Chloe's posts--her sense of humor and perspective on her daily-to-do's brighten my day...stop by and see her sometime.

What I am to do is post 10 things about myself, and award my favorite bloggers. :) I'm having a hard time thinking of things to write, so it may be COMPLETELY random, but real...which I believe is the nature of it anywho. :) Here it goes:

1) Something I enjoy: Anne of Green Gables. I read some of the books growing up (I would love to finish that series sometime), and watched the movies in my early teen years. Those movies still make me laugh and cry! They are squeaky-clean too, which is rare these days. I recently watched them again, and I've found that I'm alot like Anne in the way I perceive and respond to things. Don't know if that's good or bad...especially in the love-life department, ahem.

2) Something that changed my life: Central Mexico. When I was young, I begged God to never make me a missionary (thanks to persecution/martyrdom stories). As I've gotten older, I've been drawn to it. I was able to go to Mexico for my first mission trip last year and it changed me in this way...we are called to one mission field: wherever our feet are. Whether it is here in my hometown/workplace/school, or on foreign soil, my heart for mission work should be based on my heart-in-love with Jesus Christ and sharing Him. :) God opens doors and nudges us here and there, but I don't think the "heart" of it should change with geography. :)

3) Something I find funny: my 5 year old sister Jaelyn (see pic from previous post). I wish you could meet her! She is positively hilarious. She is a drama queen and her sarcasm capacity grows by the day. I could write a book on the many funny things she says!

4) Something I want: I would really like to be married and have little ones one day. I would like to make a home, and have my own kitchen. I would even want the fires and tears that come with all this.

5) Something I confess: I sometimes struggle with #4. Thanks to my gracious, gracious, gracious God, I've never fallen into "the depths of despair" (aforementioned Anne quote). And because of that grace, I may tend to have a "mask" that says I don't struggle in this department. But my friend, I do indeed. I've had my heart broken. And my hopes deferred. Then again. And yet again. I am so happy at home, and content with where the Lord has me. But I confess, while I try my hardest to be strong and remember my God is in control, once in awhile, there comes a day to cry about this. :) Maybe I'm just a woman that way. His grace is sufficient for me (and for you).

6) Something that rocks my socks: the students in our youth group. I never would have thought I would be able to work with teenagers and keep my sanity and most of my hair. But they make me laugh. They are patient with my insufficiencies. They help me remember the important things--about God and life--and teach me more than I could ever teach them. I wish you could meet Levi, or talk to AJ and Jessi. I wish you could play Star Wars Trivial Pursuit with Alex. I wish you could be prayed for by Tekoa. I wish your day could be brightened by Missy, or be encouraged by Emily.
There's many MORE of them, and they all would rock your socks too. :)

7) Something that confuses people: I am a living paradox, let me tell you.
--I thrive on organization; it comes with being the eldest child, and a woman. My desk and it's contents are an absolute mess at the moment.
--I think things through. I am incredibly spontaneous.
--I would love to fellowship (or "church") in homes/spontaneously, rather than in church buildings. Yet the Lord has led me to fellowship/serve at a church in my hometown.
--I would love to be married. I have considered celebacy too.
--I share my opinions. I strongly dislike, and avoid, controversy.
--I'm on top of things. I tend to do things last minute.
Stuff like that, ya know?

8) Something that makes me so happy: early mornings, just before the sun rises. Everywhere, there are people awake and buzzing. Animals have been out and about long before you. But that stillness...indescribable. The air, the soundlessness, the sunrise...it's quietly liberating. :)

9) Something that I currently find positively amazing: a combination of the Holy Spirit and the book of Romans. The world can have this world. Please, just give me Christ. Check them out, you will love them both.

10) Something I'm thankful for: for you, dear friend. :) I can't believe you made it through this ramble of rambleness. Wellgeethanks for bearing with me.

I award:

Jen at Ranch Girl Diaries

Ash at once upon a dreamer...

Angie at From Center to Circumference

M at Musings of a Ranch Wife

I would award Chloe

or

LeAnna at Thoughts n Whatnots

but they have been awarded. :)

Mexico afterthoughts...

Remember in my Mexico entry, I mentioned three little girls from the boarding schools--Lucina, Daisy & Maria? Grace and I were anxious to see if they would be there a year later. Above are two pictures from last year's trip--the right, a picture of Lucina in pink. She was such a sweetheart! The left, a picture of Tim, Daisy and I singing songs--she loved Jesus Loves Me.

Lookie here...from our trip in 2009...

When Grace and I saw Lucina (above cheesin' with Grace), we screamed her name. :) She grinned SO big--she remembered us! We gave her big hugs, and she was all shy. We learned that her name was actually "Rosina", we'd heard her tiny voice incorrectly last year. We were also reunited with Daisy (above pictured with me), who remembered parts of Jesus Loves Me, and was SO anxious to learn some new songs.
They'd changed a little--they were more young ladies than little girls. There sure isn't anything like seeing faces you've kissed before. Or being hugged by little arms you've hugged before. Or singing songs with voices you've sang with before.
We didn't see Maria--either we didn't recognize her, or she was no longer there. I still wonder where she may be and if she's ok--and pray for her too. :)

We met many new little faces, arms and voices. Lord willing that we get to go back, we will see them again. If not, heaven's not too far away. :)

(Jen, with a new little sweetheart, Donna)