A whole month after Passion 2010, here I am clacking to tell you all the good things that happened that week. Before I can give you the full story of what God revealed to me, I have to give you a little 2009 history...cause it just makes the story better. :)
For me, 2009 was the year of spiritual wounding.
Ever had a season like that?
In my life, I've never experienced so many different Christian doctrines and diversity in such a short amount of time as I did last year. The things that believers of Christ argue over, stand upon, preach, judge others for, or claim as Scriptural truth etc, are enough to either make you rejoice, make you sick to your stomach, make you weep, or make your blood boil. Last year was ALOT of all of that for me. Either I couldn't embrace one's doctrine, or I couldn't embrace their way of presenting it (even if it was sound). I believe that a person can be wrong with the way they are right? (even me).
Because of this attack on truth for me, my heart was broken and I began to grow petrified to read the Word. What if MY interpretation was wrong? How could I even assume I understand the things of God? I was now skeptical of what I was taught, of any preacher, any speaker, any song, any article, etc.
Even ones that I once gleaned truth from, I was afraid to listen to anymore. Walking into a Christian bookstore was out of the question for me! There's so many teachers, authors, speakers, music--all claiming the truth of God, but all saying (some enforcing) something different. I never felt swayed by any of them, but I was deeply wounded by it all.
All I held on to was WHO I knew my God was/is...not what people told me, but who He had proven Himself to be already. I just knew that He is truth, and if I could ever only utter that explanation for anything, I would be okay.
Because of this, I was also afraid of Passion. I went into it fearful of the speakers, and of the heart of the conference. I wondered if it would be commercialized, showy, fake, and full of even more wounding diversity and doctrine. I went into it praying for truth; to see God, even if my heart was hardened. I very nearly backed out and didn't go. But I am very thankful that I didn't. :)
To be continued...
"I want you to know, brothers, that the gospel I preached is not something that man made up. I did not receive it from any man, nor was I taught it; rather I received it by revelation from Jesus Christ..."
--Paul (Galatians 1:11-12)
Ooh, ooh! I know what happens! And it's a good thing. Love you much, sista. God's got something in store for you! Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming. ;)
ReplyDeleteThat reminds me of a song by Scott Krippayne called "My Version of the Truth." Ever heard of it?
ReplyDeleteThe lyrics go, "I want everyone to know You. Show the world what I believe. To point in your direction. With the kind of life I lead. But, sometimes I forget. We're all living separate lives. Each one of us that finds You, sees through very different eyes. And my version of the truth is just one man's point of view. Oh and my interpretation comes with limitations. I can't lose sight of You in my version of the Truth.
I remember my condition. I remember my disgrace. How good the good news sounded when I learned about Your grace. The gospel can be a hammer in the hands of those who judge. When I'm tempted to condemn let me respond with words of love. Cause my version of the truth is just one man's point of view...."
Oh, dearie! I'm so sorry last year was so hard for you. But I'm also so excited for you, because I have learned from experience that life is most beautiful after the deepest valleys. :)
ReplyDeleteOh, and PS--don't ever feel like you have to apologize for being a stranger! I'm just honored that you grace my blog with your presence every now and then. *hehe*
Happy day, dearie!
Wow. This hits about as close to home as any blog post I've ever read. I've completely and totally been there, and last year was the climax for me as well.
ReplyDeleteI've experienced the stomach-aching sort of debate and argument that takes place between church members/leadership and friends and family. Though I felt I was drowning in confusion and contradictions, when I came up gasping for air -- Jesus became my air. Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. HE will build His church. HE is the way, the TRUTH, the life.
Looking forward to reading the continuation.
PS... this is a verse that got me through those times.
ReplyDelete2 Cor. 11:3 "...But I fear, lest by any means, as the serpent beguiled Eve through his subtilty, so your minds should be corrupted from the **simplicity that is in Christ**.
Hi Jen: Just read your post and want to hear the rest....the Gospel message is amazingly simple and yet the church has been complicating things since Paul's time! But you know who God is and what He has done in your life, and that is the most powerful thing you have. Your testimony! Waiting to hear more....
ReplyDeleteI miss my Jen in the blogosphere...Just sayin'...
ReplyDelete